The primary problem with language
is its magic....
A couple of months ago I was laying in bed and telling my partner how happy I was that I din’t consider myself “a writer”. It seemed that writers often had a lot of trouble with being writers and I was feeling lucky I didn’t have to wrestle with said issues.
In my work as a tarot reader, I sit across from others who tell me all kinds of stories about their lives, their thoughts, their feelings, etc. As I explore the cards and offer guidance, I am often met with disagreement, “I can’t quit my job”, “yeah but I’ve dealt with this already”, “my husband would never be open to that”, “that’s simply not possible” and so forth.
As an outsider looking in, it’s easy to see a different perspective, and when I propose that perhaps, it IS possible, my clients will argue their point!
When we tell ourselves a story for long enough, we start to think of it as not only true, but the only way.
Maybe the part of me that was so relieved to not be a writer, was also the part that is deeply afraid of sharing my voice. Just as I know to pay attention when a client starts arguing, because they are showing me their deepest pain point.
The magic of language is, when spoken with intention, it can help us to shift even the deepest held beliefs.
This week, I’m calling out some of my bullshit beliefs. We all have them, the things we tell ourselves could never happen, or only happen to special people, important people, or just other people. Sometimes we say them out loud, sometimes we only say them to ourselves. Today was an especially heavy BSB day, just a few things that ran through my head:
“You’re hideous, you need botox.” “That will never work, don’t even try.” “No one is going to pay to read your writing.” “He doesn’t care about you, just leave and save everyone the trouble.” - my bitchy inner critic
After a few moments, many long sighs, and my shoulders up to my ears, I realized I was feeling some major resistance to changes I'm making, and this inner critic is piping up to keep me safe. I reminded myself that resistance is normal, I don’t have to believe any of the BS, and I could simply move the F on with my day. (I also did some EFT, affirmations and movement for good measure.)
Do you have any bullshit beliefs? Any old stories you’ve been kicking around like an old record on repeat? What if you could pick up the needle, and start a new track?
Simple Joys:
🎶 One of my favorite albums from high school i’ve been listening to on my work commute
🍅 Fresh tomato sandwiches (on sourdough w/ mayo) & zucchini quesadillas
📿 The pose I do almost every night before bed
📺I took a trip down memory lane and watched Trainwreck, the Netflix documentary on Woodstock ‘99 and it was chillingly accurate to my experience
Judgement, rx + Rest
I pulled this spread after I wrote the note above, but the message is surprisingly similar. An alternate word for the Judgement card is forgiveness, as it speaks to the ways in which we judge, criticize and armor our hearts. In the reversed position, this mean-ness is usually directed inward, at ourselves.
Judgement asks us to rise above the dark thoughts, the pettiness, the fears that keep us locked in a prison of our own making. It is a reckoning, an opening and a softening. It is the realization that love is a stronger protection than fear. It is noticing the ways in which we have pushed ourselves out of our own hearts, and inviting us back in.
In her forgiveness meditations, Tara Brach offers the intention to forgive, that just our intention alone, is enough to open into grace. Let your mind and your heart rest, and as Tara would say, nourish yourself with compassion.
Vibes:
heart chakra healing practices such as forgiveness meditations, gentle backbends, pink and green stones like rose quartz & malachite, restorative and yin yoga, calming and nourishing teas like chamomile/lemon balm/lavender/oatstraw, ritual bath with Himalayan salt, coconut milk and rose petals, connecting with loved ones, placing a hand on the heart and reminding yourself, “there is love here”.