Rejection is Protection

Saturn in Aries: On Grounded Leadership

Hey there, travelers—

I hope you're savoring the fullness of this potent summer season. This past week brought a Jupiter Cazimi in Cancer—a bright, blessed alignment of luck and expansion in the part of the zodiac that governs home, emotional connection, belonging, and family.

In my world, the Cancer themes came in strong: I celebrated my daughter’s birthday, my stepson’s high school graduation, and my fiancé’s birthday—all in one week. It was a beautiful whirlwind. I kept having to pause and remind myself to feel it, not just plan it. To slow down. To stay present. Not to spin out in the stress of travel, logistics, or emotional overload.

This particular alignment was squared by Saturn in Aries, creating tension between expansion and restriction. Saturn reminds us that real growth often requires boundaries, structure, and a willingness to confront what isn’t working. Especially in Aries, it calls us to examine our sense of personal authority and how we lead ourselves.

In astrology, squares (when 2 planets are at a 90° angle) can be labeled as "bad," but they’re catalysts. They create friction that moves the story forward—inviting us to act instead of coast.

Here’s how this kind of tension might show up:

• Tension in the body prompting a new healing modality—like yoga, acupuncture, or shifting to a standing desk.

• Tension in relationships that brings you face to face with your needs, boundaries, and old patterns.

• Tension at work that reveals inefficiencies or unfairness, inviting restructuring.

• Tension in your creativity that forces you to uncover the deeper source of a block or fear.

This kind of friction isn’t punishment—it’s a compass.

Navigating Rejection, Pattern Breaking, and Relational Repair

Over the past few years, I’ve gone through major personal reckonings around relationships—in work, friendship, and family. I’ve broken long-held patterns of codependency, confronted my fear of authority, recognized trauma bonds with narcissistic personalities, and slowly, painstakingly, built more autonomy, self-trust, and inner confidence.

I grew up in an addictive, codependent household, where silence and suppression were forms of survival. And society didn’t help—especially for women. We’re taught to stay sweet, stay small, and stay quiet. Keep the peace. Numb out. Smile through it.

But through therapy, personal work, and—yes—being a Libra rising, I’ve learned the art of balancing connection and self-honoring. Of speaking needs clearly. Of recognizing when old programming is tricking me into seeking external validation or ignoring my gut.

No relationship, contract, or community should require you to contort yourself in order to belong.

This Week’s Lesson: Boundaries, Vulnerability, and Conscious Conflict

This week, I felt it all. A sweet sense of love and fulfillment, tangled with moments of rejection. I had to set firm boundaries. I had to say things that felt uncomfortable. And in a few moments, I acted out before I could reflect, projecting my fear or frustration. So I paused. I journaled. I looked inward. Then I came back and shared honestly—even though it felt vulnerable and terrifying.

I also practiced conscious confrontation and was met with hostility. That cracked open a deeper realization: this has been one of the central themes of my growth over the last few years.

🔮Astro Reflections for My Fellow Mystics 🪐

I find astrology to be most powerful when used as a tool for reflection, looking back to see how a transit has helped to shift and shape things over time. I can now look back and see how the eclipses across my 1st/7th house axis from 2023–2025, really called me to step up in my personal leadership, autonomy and truly stand up for myself. These houses govern the realm of “me” versus “we.” Identity and relationships. On top of that, Saturn and Neptune have now moved into my 7th house. These lessons just. keep. coming.

If you want to explore this in your chart, look to the areas that contain Aries, Libra, or your 1st and 7th houses. If you have placements in cardinal signs (Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn), you’ll be exploring these themes as Saturn and Neptune work their magic—and their challenges—on your relationships, boundaries, and long-term stability for years to come.

📩 Want a personal look at what these transits are doing in your chart? Email me for a reading.

A Hermit Year, or a Freeze Response?

2025 is a Hermit year in tarot numerology—a time for going inward. And the first half of 2025 (during Mars & Venus retrograde), I went into a deep period of quiet and self reflection.

But this also made me realize that solitude isn’t always healing. Sometimes, it’s a trauma response and it’s important to develop the self awareness to help us know the difference between when we need to retreat, and when we are unconsciously self protective.

After moving to the Hudson Valley, I felt more isolated than I’ve been in years. I got stuck in a freeze state—nervous system on high alert, hyper-aware of every threat. I lost connection to my core—literally and metaphorically. A pelvic floor injury kept me scared to do intense workouts. I started obsessing over small things, trying to find a sense of control in a world that felt unsafe.

Even when things were fine, my mind searched for danger. Fear became my baseline.

What helped me thaw? Getting outside of myself. Volunteering. Lifting weights. Meeting new people. Being of service. Learning new skills. Taking small, brave steps back to connection.

If you're afraid of the world’s chaos: do one small, good thing. Something embodied. Something connective. Something that reminds you—you’re still here. You still matter and your actions make a big impact on the world.

You Don’t need to Prove your Worth

One of the hardest truths I’ve had to face is how often I abandoned myself in search of acceptance. I made myself small. I silenced my needs. I got into relationships—romantic, professional, platonic—where I did the emotional labor and hoped to be seen.

I’ve spent over 20 years trying to maintain a relationship with my father. He’s an alcoholic and has never truly shown up. I wrote him a letter as a teenager, expressing my pain—he ignored it. I kept visiting, hoping. He missed my major life events, and never visited me in any of my homes. He never asked about my work or interests.

When I started my own family, he judged us. Criticized our appearance, where we lived, our politics. I kept returning to this version of “home,” but I never felt I belonged there. I asked for small boundaries — but they were often ignored.

Even when my daughter’s safety was put at risk, I still kept trying, hoping something would change.

It didn’t. And finally, painfully, I stepped away.

This pattern didn’t stop with family. It showed up in other areas. In how I worked. In how I connected. In how I disappeared parts of myself to be accepted.

In the past few years, something’s shifted. I’ve accepted rejection. I dealt with the pain. I’ve identified and given space for new parts of myself.

I’ve stood up to an ex-boss in court. I’ve confronted my landlord about neglect. I’ve let friendships end with truth and integrity. I’ve stopped needing to be "good" to feel worthy.

I’ve started listening to the cues my body sends me when I’m in a relationship that doesn’t feel right. I’ve said no, even when it disappointed others, even when they tried to bully me, or fired projection and lies at me, I’ve held my ground.

I’ve learned that people who respond with rejection or anger when you express a need or a boundary aren’t showing you your worth—they’re revealing their limits. It’s ok to outgrow relationships that can't hold honesty or clear communication. It’s ok to walk away from emotional immaturity or punitive, passive aggressive behavior. You don’t need to be punished for simple mistakes, or work to make others love or accept you.

These lessons have helped me build a different kind of self-confidence—one that doesn’t rely on external approval.

If You’re In It—You’re Not Alone

If you're navigating rejection, isolation, or deep relational confusion: I see you. You’re not broken. You’re on the edge of something powerful. Keep going and keep shining your light, and don’t be afraid to piss people off! Sometimes, if you’re really standing in your power - you’re going to trigger someone!

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Resources That Helped Me:

1. Gestalt Therapy (10+ years): Building emotional and somatic awareness.
2. Nicole LePera’s work: Helped me understand codependency and nervous system healing.
3. ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families): Even if meeting aren’t you’re thing, the books and workbooks are really valuable.

Wishing you a deep cancer season full of nostalgia (the good kind), and a deep sense of belonging 🫶🏼

Keep truckin-
Holly

PS- I originally put a paywall on this post but I realized, it was done out of fear. The less people that see, the less rejection I risk. So I took it off, and it’s vulnerable but I’m grateful you took the time to read.